


An Important Scientific Discovery

by AnnetheCatDetective



Category: Jurassic Park - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, Dinosaurs just want to be loved, Gen, T-Rex is valid, humans will pet anything
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-12
Updated: 2018-10-12
Packaged: 2019-07-29 22:57:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16274099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnetheCatDetective/pseuds/AnnetheCatDetective
Summary: A request fill for the always-lovely Izzy, who wanted misunderstood dinosaurs who only want to be loved, and- and I quote-- 'Jeff Goldblum seduces the T-Rex'. It may not be a sexual seduction, but is there any other word to describe any interaction Ian Malcolm has with any other being?





	An Important Scientific Discovery

Things could, technically, be worse.

 

Ian has to keep reminding himself of the fact that things could be worse, much worse, in fact. It doesn’t really feel that way, when you’re being stared down by a T-Rex, when you can feel the heat of its breath hit you in the face. He wonders if ‘they had terrible breath’ is going to be added to some list of Facts We Know About The T-Rex somewhere. Grant could put it in his next book. 

 

He probably won’t.

 

Ian might. 

 

If he lives to write again.

 

Things could, technically, be worse. He could be dead, or dying, or maimed. Those were all strong possibilities he’d taken into account when he’d grabbed the second flare and started running.

As it is, he’s rolled an ankle, which had not been great, but is certainly not ‘chomped on by an enormous predator’, as injuries go. And he’s very aware of her teeth, but terror of being face to face with her aside, she seems more curious than ravenous. Had stopped short over him when he’d taken a fall and screamed something not entirely heroic about how he was going to die and it just figured, didn’t it, it just figured. Had tilted her massive head to one side as he’d, okay, as he’d babbled in fear a little, he’d done that, he’s not too proud to admit there had been a healthy amount of fear and no small amount of babbling.

 

And then she’d just sort of… crouched over him. Bumped her nose into his chest once, which knocked the wind out of him a little, but was probably pretty gentle, for a T-Rex.

 

“So. What’s a terrible murder lizard like you doing in a place like this?” He asks. He has officially moved past terror, past panic, past the fear of death. He’s achieved the kind of zen a man can only reach when he’s lounging under a T-Rex, two or three minutes after the point at which he fully expected to be eaten. It’s really quite freeing.

 

She makes a sound that reverberates through his ribcage and the odds of his coming away from this with some mild but permanent hearing damage– if he does come away from this– are high. Really, absolutely certain. It’s probably the least of his worries.

 

“Uh-huh, uh-huh.” He nods. She bunts into his shoulder this time, knocking him flat on his back. “Oof… okay, honey. Sure, you, uh, you tell me about your day. You, you do that.”

 

She huffs out another breath, steaming in the rain. He reaches up and pats her nose, and he still half expects to lose half his arm, but he’s so detached from reality at this point that honestly it might as well happen. Anything might as well happen and he thinks in this post-panic state, he’d accept it.

 

Instead, she makes a trilling sound– that’s the only word he can think of, even at the low pitch of it. A deep, gravelly trill. Which, again, the sound alone is enough to shake him, and he feels a little queasy, but it is at any rate a happy sound.

 

Apparently, dinosaurs enjoy being petted, which was not the takeaway he expected from this weekend. He still absolutely does not think this park should open, because it doesn’t matter if they all only want pats and scritches and belly rubs, they could still absolutely kill people in a careless moment. And he’s pretty sure if he went to John and said ‘yeah so it turns out they’re friendly’, he’d turn the damn place into a petting zoo without a single thought for consequences. Her motivation for smashing her way into a Jeep is not nearly as important as the fact that the Jeep was smashed into, but John Hammond, he’d go starry-eyed over the thought.

 

“You know, honey, I feel like this is probably an important, an important scientific discovery. ‘Dinosaurs only want to be loved’. You think Doctor Grant is going to be jealous?” He says, rubbing under her chin. She snorts again. “Yeah, okay, fair enough. He, uh, he and Doctor Sattler already got to get cozy with one of your friends. Well, ‘friends’, you’d probably make a meal out of a triceratops, even if you wouldn’t make a meal out of me. Which, thanks, by the way.”

 

He gets nuzzled at again. This time, he doesn’t bother trying to sit up after.

 

“No, that’s okay, you wouldn’t be the first lady to leave a few bruises, sweetheart.” He says. And he’s thinking about the hearing damage, and he’s thinking about the various ailments he might come down with after lying in the mud and the rain for as long as he might be there, and he’s thinking about the odds of Muldoon showing up and pumping his new friend here full of tranquilizers– under the impression that he was being feasted on and not snuggled up to– and her crushing him to death. And yes, he’s thinking about the teeth, because a ‘pet me more’ nip could turn serious regardless of friendly intent, but he’s thinking about the teeth a lot less than he was when he started running.

 

Mostly, he’s thinking about the sheer luck, to live in a world where most creatures, even those who should never have naturally encountered a human being, simply want to be petted at. And about how long he can keep it up, between one hand or the other, before his arms go dead on him. Hopefully not before they can get her lured back into a paddock.


End file.
